Is Running A Relationship Like Running A Business?

The credit crunch has made job security for many, a thing of the past. Those who survive this economic crisis will have had to make some radical changes to their working practices.

What if a crisis model could be used to apply changes to ailing marriages?

Well it can .. and I call this process “The Relationship Appraisal.”

Let me break it down …

In marriage, as with any relationship, a balance of power needs to be maintained. This is achieved by understanding the subtleties of the relationship dynamic. It is also dependent on clearly defined roles, which naturally develop during the course of the relationship.

So to begin; think hard about the emotions that you experienced when your relationship was blossoming. These emotions may need rekindling and there are a number of ways to do this, by using emotional triggers.

If you have children, this would be a time to make sure they are in bed or out of the house.

Then, select some music and photos that are a reminder of your happy courtship days. Use the reawakened memories to construct a mental template of how you both felt at the time. Think back. It was great wasn’t it?

Then talk to each other about your relationship and use constructive comments about what you might like each other to do (better).

When you have both had your say, you will hopefully have identified areas where there is room for improvement.

You can then mutually decide the necessary plans of action required to make some positive changes. There may be some surprises on both sides and a whole “can of worms” could be uncovered, but, only pre-existing problems will be revealed and those, in return, can be eradicated.

A long lasting marriage or relationship is constantly being presented with the obstacles of boredom, complacency, loss of respect, loss of interest and therefore a lack of attention.

These are ideal conditions for an EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR.

So what can you do to prevent it?

Your decision to arrange a relationship appraisal may take you on a dinner date, or perhaps to a coffee shop, or to the beach, but it must be somewhere that you can connect as a couple, with limited distractions.

Any positive criticism that arises during your frank discussions should be delivered in a light hearted way and both parties must receive it graciously.

This must, however, be always preceded by both praise and compliments about things that your partner does well. Plan to have a date (appraisal) once a month and use the process as an opportunity to discuss family issues, because life can be hectic and communication can easily break down.

Remember why you became an item.

Enjoy laughter together and marvel in the uniqueness of each other. Be prepared to go to any lengths to enhance and prolong your relationship, even if it involves employing the services of a qualified counsellor.

A relationship is an investment so you must closely monitor its growth to achieve the maximum interest.